Blind Date
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: The twins Kisarazu have to help a certain desparate someone to find a date, before he drives Atsushi crazy...Ryou has an idea, but is it a good one?


A/N: This is incredibly stupid, and whether it's possible or not, I have no idea. It's meant for amusement purposes only, so anything that doesn't work can be contributed to the fact that I'm weird.

I'd just like to note that while I'm a little mean to Aoi in this fic, I do like him.

Warning: This fic might have the potential to induce nightmares. Read at your own risk. I think I went too far this time. Oh, boy.

BLIND DATE

Yanagisawa was a nice enough boy and a loyal friend to those he deemed worthy to actually be his friends, but he had an uncanny ability to get on one's nerves. He was a good friend; but he tended to run at the mouth, had a rather large ego when it came to some things, tacked a "da ne" at the end of every sentence, had giant protruding lips (which had nothing to do with his personality, but had to be noted because they were very...impressive) and -- well, Yanagisawa was a bit...annoying.

Especially when he was lonely.

"I wish I could get a girlfriend, da ne," Yanagisawa whined, for approximately the nine thousand and fourth time. Kisarazu Atsushi, who had for some reason become Yanagisawa's chosen confidante, tried to control the twitch he had developed.

"I just don't know how to meet girls, da ne. There are so few of them in an all boys school, da ne. Why is that, da ne?"

Atsushi chose not to answer that, for fear of losing control and causing bodily harm to the person currently sprawled across his bed, complaining endlessly about not being able to get a date...

"I mean, I have such charm and finesse, da ne! Girls would throw themselves at my feet if they knew I existed, da ne! I wish I could meet some girls, da ne."

"I really don't know how to help you," Atsushi said, for approximately the nine thousand and fourth time.

"Don't you know any girls, da ne?"

"Not really."

"Not even at your old school, da ne?"

"I was only friends with a few boys."

"...does your twin know any girls, da ne?"

"Not really." Atsushi didn't really want to mention that he and Ryou had no interest in girls, and therefore never bothered to try and meet any. That was beside the point.

"...I see, da ne."

There was a tension-filled silence. Yanagisawa seemed to be struggling internally. After a few moments, an explosive "DA NE!" was expelled from his lungs, and he jumped to his feet.

"Damn it all, I'll even date boys, da ne! I'll date one of your friend's dogs, da ne! As long as it has a pulse, then I don't care, da ne!"

Atsushi was a little surprised at the force of the desperation in Yanagisawa's voice. "Are you really that desperate?" he asked.

Yanagisawa narrowed his eyes, looked as though he was about to get angry -- and then he broke down and cried like a little baby. Atsushi actually felt sorry for the poor guy, and patted his back a few times.

"I'll see what I can do," he said. "I'm not promising anything, though."

"Thank you, da ne!"

"No problem. Just...don't get any ideas about dating me," Atsushi warned. "I'm taken."

"...damn. Da ne."

"We have to find someone for him, or he's going to drive me crazy," Atsushi moaned. He was having an emergency conference with his twin brother Ryou, in their secret meeting place in which they had frequent "conferences" on a regular basis.

"I hate to judge the guy, but...who the hell is going to want to date him?" Unfortunately for Ryou, he'd had the chance to meet Yanagisawa a few times while visiting Atsushi at the St. Rudolph dormitory.

"I was hoping that you might know someone."

"Not really. I mean, most people don't go for the whole protruding lips thing. It turns them off." Ryou bit his lip. "Have you suggested getting him to put an ad in the paper or something?"

"He's kind of young for that, isn't he?"

"True enough."

"What would he put, anyway? 'Desperate male seeking anything with pulse, da ne'?"

"Good point."

The brothers Kisarazu put their heads together, and thought long and hard.

"Don't you know anyone annoying enough not to be put off by someone as...unique as Yanagisawa?"

"Nobody. I mean, who would --" Ryou's eyes got very big as inspiration suddenly struck him. "Hang on. I think I might know someone who fits that description perfectly."

"Really? You mean my sanity is going to be saved?"

"I don't know. If these two get together, it could mean the destruction of everything that is good in the universe," Ryou said. "I don't know if we should mess with stuff like this."

"I don't care who it is, I just need to find him someone! I can't take his heart to hearts anymore!" Atsushi wiped away a few tears. "My brain hurts just thinking about it."

"Okay then. Tell Yanagisawa to go to this location on Saturday night at seven p.m. I'll take care of the rest."

"The Kisarazu twins made matchmakers," Atsushi said, shaking his head. "Who would have ever thought it?"

"No one counted on there being a Yanagisawa in our lives."

"True enough."

Yanagisawa straightened his tie (which only made it more crooked) and fidgeted nervously in his chair. Why he had chosen to wear a tie to a pizza place was anyone's guess, but that is quite beside the point. He made sure that his red rose was quite visible, and then he fidgeted some more.

__

"So, is this person I'm going out with good-looking, da ne?"

"I have no idea. Ryou didn't say who it was."

"You didn't even ask my date's name, da ne?"

"This is a blind date. You're not really supposed to know."

"...I'm scared, da ne. Hold me. Da ne."

"No need to worry. I'm sure everything will work out for you, so stop trying to hit on me."

"Foiled again, da ne."

"EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU YANAGISAWA SHINYA?" bellowed an extremely loud voice. Yanagisawa almost peed himself, but managed to recover in time to prevent that particular event from occurring. He looked up into a very happy, smiling face.

"Yes. Are you my date, da ne?"

"YES I AM! MY NAME IS AOI KENTAROU, AND I'M THE BUCHOU OF ROKKAKU'S TENNIS TEAM!"

"I've heard of you, da ne!" Atsushi had mentioned this boy once or twice. He was supposedly hyperactive and super enthusiastic about tennis. He was also supposed to be annoying. Yanagisawa was insulted -- did they think he couldn't get someone better?

"YOU'RE CUTE!" Aoi exclaimed.

Yanagisawa changed his mind. This was a fine boy, indeed. "Why thank you, da ne."

"WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER?"

"Anything is fine, da ne. Could you maybe lower your voice a little, da ne?"

"I'M SORRY. AM I BEING LOUD?"

"A little, da ne."

"I WILL TRY TO BE QUIETER," Aoi promised. "DO YOU LIKE PEPPERONI?"

"Indeed I do, da ne."

After they ordered, an awkward silence developed. Aoi was grinning like -- well, like an idiot, and Yanagisawa kept blushing and looking away. Finally, he decided he should try and make small talk. He had to act casual, and talk about general things that anyone would be interested in...

"Do you believe in life after death, da ne?"

"I DON'T KNOW. I'VE NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT. IF THERE IS, I HOPE THERE'S TENNIS!"

Now that he'd proved that he was experienced at the whole dating thing, it was time to ask the question that was really burning on his mind. "Have you ever been on a date before, da ne?"

"A FEW TIMES. ECHIZEN DUMPED ME AFTER A WHILE BECAUSE HE SAID I WAS TOO LOUD. I WORKED VERY HARD TO BECOME THE QUIET PERSON I AM TODAY."

After Yanagisawa had peeled himself off of the wall he'd been blown into, he nodded his agreement. "Da ne."

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SAY DA NE?"

"I think it makes me sexier, da ne," Yanagisawa admitted.

"ACTUALLY, IT DOES."

Yanagisawa found himself blushing a deep shade of orange (red was far too common for a bishounen like him) and grinning from ear to ear. "Well, thank you, da ne. You're quite sexy yourself, da ne. I love quiet men, da ne."

"HA HA HA, I'M SO GLAD! DO YOU LIKE TENNIS?"

"I'm exceptionally good at tennis, da ne," Yanagisawa said proudly.

"THEN AFTER DINNER, WE CAN GO AND PLAY. IT WILL BE LOTS OF FUN!"

"Okay, da ne."

After the pizza had been thoroughly disposed of, Aoi and Yanagisawa took a walk to the nearest street tennis courts, and played a few games. Aoi came out the victor, but Yanagisawa's pride wasn't hurt at all, because Aoi made the whole thing so much fun. It was almost magical, how that smile of his lit up his handsome face...

"DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A QUIET WALK IN THE PARK?" Aoi asked, as they got their breath back.

"I would love to, da ne," Yanagisawa said.

The two walked hand in hand through the park, enjoying the very quiet evening. Aoi led Yanagisawa to a bench, where they sat and talked, and eventually kissed -- although they clashed noses and then had difficulty adjusting to the rather interesting shape of Yanagisawa's lips, but they managed.

They parted with smiles and dreamy sighs, and Yanagisawa went back to his dorm a happy man.

"How was your date with Yanagisawa?" Ryou asked. "Did you flatter him like I told you to?"

"I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PRETEND. HE'S A VERY GREAT GUY, AND I WANT TO GO OUT WITH HIM AGAIN!"

"..." Ryou tried to comprehend what he had just heard. "You had...fun?"

"HE'S REALLY CUTE!"

"Um." Ryou realized that his worst fear had come true. The two actually liked each other -- so now they would spend more time in each other's presence, and...

"HE'S A REALLY GREAT KISSER, TOO!"

"Kiss..." The thought was too disturbing to be pursued. "I need to go lie down."

"THANKS SO MUCH FOR SETTING ME UP WITH HIM!" Aoi called after him.

"Yeah, no problem."

"So, how was your date?" Atsushi asked. He fully expected to hear "I never want to date again, da ne!" but instead, he got

"I had the time of my life, da ne!"

"...what?"

"I think I've found my soul mate, da ne! I'm deeply, deeply in love, da ne!"

The stars in Yanagisawa's eyes were enough to bring tears to the eyes of the toughest of men. "I...I see. That's...good."

"He asked me to go out with him next weekend, da ne!"

"...right."

"And we were talking about how you and Ryou might like to double date with us, da ne! I thought that would be really fun, da ne, and -- Atsushi! Why are you on the floor, da ne? Can you hear me? Atsushi! Wake up, da ne!"

"I think we've made the biggest mistake of our lives," Atsushi moaned, at another of the Brothers Kisarazu Conferences (tm).

Ryou could not reply to that. He was too busy crying.

"I mean...those two...and double dating, and...and...what if they produce offspring?"

"That's...that's impossible, isn't it?" Ryou asked, with a horrified look in his eyes.

"I really hope so."

"We have to break those two up!"

"And listen to Yanagisawa complain every night again? No way!"

"What's worse, his complaints, or the dreamy look on his face?"

"That's a good point...Still, they really like each other. It would be wrong to break them up."

The twins gazed at each other miserably.

"Well...at least we made someone happy," Ryou reflected.

"Yeah. That does give me a nice warm, fuzzy feeling."

"Actually, that's probably gas from the sausage you had at lunch."

"...you're probably right."

FIVE YEARS LATER

"I'M SO GLAD THAT I'M FINALLY DONE HIGH SCHOOL," Aoi exclaimed, with more force than usual.

"Are you going to college, da ne?"

"WELL, I WAS PLANNING ON IT, BUT I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU..."

"...da ne?"

"...I'M PREGNANT."

Yanagisawa fainted, da ne.

THE END


End file.
